I need to stop coming to work sober
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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