There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
