God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
