I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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