She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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