I puked a lego.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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