Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
