I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Sext me about skeletons
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
