Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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