just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
