please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think my vagina is haunted
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
