U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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