ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Randomize
