you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
