mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
