He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
