I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
wanna go halves on a baby?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
