I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
