'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
