Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
