David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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