Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
