Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
