Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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