no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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