Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
