just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
