You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Holy shit dude........stairs
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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