im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
