wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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