Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
