Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
