it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
