This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
