hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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