This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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