you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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