Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
