she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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