didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
