Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
