chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
