yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I wish i was in the wii world.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
