You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The ass gains better be worth it
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
