FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
