There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
