Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
