I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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