I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
