I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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